Know someone that has twins? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have two babies to love and care from the very moment you bring them into this world and everyday after that?
I know all too well the challenges of one baby let alone multiple. Mind you, when my husband and I went through the process of IVF I did wonder what it would be like if we had twins? ix and a half years on I am so blessed to have just the one beautiful daughter and it is only through reading the blog from this young mother of twins that I have been given an opportunity to see what “that life” might have looked like.
Not only have Hayley and Ben managed for the last 2.5yrs to bring up two beautiful, well adjusted, independent, loving girls but they have done it in style. Here is a little peak into Hayley’s life as a working mother of two 2.5 year old girls. What she treasures most, what she finds challenging and how she still manages to look immaculate every single day!
It is the answer to Hayley’s final question that brought tears to my eyes so I’ve moved this question to top to give you a little insight into the beautiful soul that she is.
I hope you enjoy reading Hayley’s story as much as I did…
Q 12. Anything else you would like to add
It’s funny I am not the type of person who talks about my children at work – so I never really have an outlet to explore these emotions and recap my experiences. What you have provided me by asking for these details, far outweighs what I can provide you. It gave me a moment to reflect on my motherhood experience and even though I think day to day I am just caught up in getting through the day; what I have realized in filling out these questions is, that I have amazing experiences each and every day. If I stop and reflect on them once in a while it actually gives me strength to tackle more and feel accomplished in every aspect of my life. So thank you Marnie for unknowingly giving me something I needed and am eternally grateful.
Q1. Tell us about your family? What age are your girls?
My husband of 6.5 years (Ben) and I were blessed with twins 2.5 years ago now. They completed our family of Ben, myself, brother & sister rescue cats and identical twin girls. We are just the luckiest to have happy and healthy girls who will always have each other. Something I as a single child have always longed for.
Q2. Do you remember your first thought when you found out you were having twins?
I was blown away. I started laughing until the sonographer brought me back to reality. It was truly ironic because it was on a Friday the 17th of August that I had the scan done and two Saturday’s before we were driving home from my Nannas 90th birthday (Aug 4th) and Ben and I were talking about our future family. I remember Ben saying how great it would be if we had twins. Lo and behold I was already expecting twins. I will always remember that and I can’t wait to tell the girls when they get older. I called my husband in shock and said “There are two in there! Two!” I think he almost dropped the phone.
I also vividly remember the day we found out the gender. If it was one, I would have waited, but two – I needed to be as prepared as possible. When the sonographer validated the first one was a girl my heart did flips, Ben was shell shocked on his chair looking at the screen. When they said that Twin B was also a girl Ben had to ask them to repeat the gender because he was still in shock from the first one.
Q3. Do you remember the most challenging situation/task/emotion when looking after twin babies?
There were so many in the early days. I suffered a difficult pregnancy and was hospitalised 5 times whilst I was pregnant, went into labour on the day of my baby shower and had my girls at 32 weeks. Definitely not being able to touch my girls, hold them or even take them home with me are things that are still troubling to me today. I shed a tear now as I recall those early days. Having nurses care for your children and tell you when you can touch them and how long for was a time I will never forget. The 6 weeks they remained in hospital after I was discharged were challenging as I could not drive and relied on my mum to take me to the hospital every day to see them between 2-3 times a day. It turned out for the best as I was hospitalised another 3 times after giving birth to them and for the most part I was admitted each time I was visiting them in the Special Care Nursery. However the positive of this was that they were given the best start to life given their prematurity in the special care nursery and when they suffered Bradycardias (heart rates slowing down) the alarms would go off and the Nurses would spring to action and rub on their tiny chests. How can you not appreciate getting parenting tips from Nurses who have spent the last 20 years caring around the clock for premature infants.
Q4. Has it been hard on your husband/partner having twins?
Ben took to the girls like a duck to water. He has found his calling I truly believe. Nothing is ever too much for him. They can be having an all-out war and running around pulling each other’s hair and he somehow manages to diffuse the situation calmly. “Come to daddy” in his soothing voice “Let’s sit on the big bed and watch Play Doh on TV”. He never wants to be away from them for more than an hour and they are utterly and completely besotted with him. They will call out for him when they bang their knee, or in the middle of the night for a cuddle or fresh water.
Q5. What does being a Mum mean to you?
It’s not something I could ever have imagined. To see them grow into little individuals is something I am amazed at. Each day they are learning so much and often I am amazed at the context they are able to apply to words and phrases. I truly experienced the best thing about my motherhood experience the other night. I was settling them down as they were squealing and giggling instead of going to sleep. I said “I love you Issy” “Love you Immy”. Isobel beamed up at me and shouted “I… LOVE… MUMMY!” She continued shouting it out every couple of seconds. It really made me stop and appreciate how much love we have for each other. I walked away thinking to myself “That is now the best night of my life.”
Q6. Do you work outside the home? Yes I am a Team Leader at Suncorp within our Business Technology area.
I manage distributed teams across Brisbane, Sydney and Shanghai. I work full time in compressed hours Mon-Thurs and I love my job. I am truly blessed to be supported by work in my career (a promotion for a part time mother was never something I believed I could achieve). Working is something I do to support our family and I hope they are proud of me when they are older. I was very lucky to have long service leave accrued and managed to take a year off work after the girls were born. To have had that time with them means so much to me.
Q7. What does a typical weekday look like for you now that your girls are older?
Usually rise and shine about 5am so I can shower and dress myself before they wake up (if they are up I end up having to pretend to apply blush and they are quite vocal on my outfits as well). I usually have their day care lunch prepared the night before and I run all of those things downstairs to the car. I get them up about 6:50am and entice them downstairs into the car with the lure of Weet-bix at Day Care for breakfast (Isobel is obsessed with Weet-bix). At day care it’s a swift drop off with putting away lunch boxes, water bottles and hats with little helpers before setting them up with breakfast and mushy Weet-bix kisses. I catch the train into the office to be there around 7:30am and start my working day on the train checking emails and preparing for my meetings. I usually have days full of meetings until about 5 (I always manage to fit in a coffee though) and then as the office starts to clear out I get to sit down and manage the rest of my emails. My husband collects the girls from day care and does dinner, bath and bed time and if I catch the 6:05pm or 6:45pm bus he will keep them up for me to say good night. Then my night time routine of washing, repacking day care bags, making day care lunches and dinner commences about 7:30pm and I like to wind down with a reality TV show The Block or Real Housewives (any series) whilst doing ironing etc. in the ad breaks. However I do have Fridays off work where I take some time to buy groceries, do umpteen loads of washing, clean and tidy and (selfishly) attend to getting my hair or nails done.
Q8. What is the best thing about being Mum to twins?
I love the fact that they always have each other. They fight with each other often as I am sure most siblings do, but the upside is the minute I defend one of them (e.g. Immy) (either from a bite or a shove etc.) and send the other (e.g. Issy) to time out, the injured twin always jumps to the defence of the twin I am disciplining. “No time out Mummy!” “Issy sad” “Issy need blankie” “Mummy have time out!” Isobel is Twin B and younger by 1 minute but still displays traits of a younger sibling I find. She is quite dependant on Immy’s attention and can’t go to sleep without Imogen even for a nap or for the night. She climbs into Imogen’s bed up to 5 times before I end up leaving her there for good. There are so many things I love about twins. The girls are identical in every way, but still unique in their voices and taste in food. Imogen would eat porridge and slices of cheese all day long whilst Isobel would much prefer a diet consisting only of Weet-bix and toast. Isobel loves dresses and Imogen loves shorts. It warms my heart to see their individual personalities flourish and not be influenced by the fact that in almost every interaction they are treated the same being that they share the same room, the same day care teachers, they bathe together and have swimming lessons at the same time.
Q9. You always look so well presented, how do you manage to do this with twins and do you ever have bad hair days?
Part of making sure I am the best person I can be is to take care of myself. I have a passion for makeup and clothes and shoes and… well everything really and I love playing around with makeup techniques and coordinating my outfit with the perfect shoes, bag and jewellery. I fit it in by getting up early and having quiet time to get myself ready I have strict beauty routines which I follow twice a day and then a 17 step (I know lol) makeup process. Some days I change multiple times before I leave the house (today for example) after having cuddles with the girls who have faces full of breakfast which they lovingly wipe on me in our farewell embrace. I have 4 things which if I get time to do, I put in the effort, otherwise they are the first things to go in a rush 1) lipstick there will always be something in my bag I may remember to swipe on after coffee 2) mascara – I don’t know why some days I just forget 3) perfume – a luxury to have time to spritz some perfume on and 4) my hair – if time is against me a bun is my saviour (I have had 2 buns this week and it’s only Wednesday)
Q10. What advice would you give to other Mums, particular those facing a multiple birth?
Seek comfort in other multiple parents. There are so many networks out there to help you. Without the multiple birth association I would have felt alone. They helped get me to play group (albeit 6 weeks after taking the girls home from hospital) but I needed the support and they were there. I have truly found friends for life as have the girls. We are all in it together and can relate to everything each other is experiencing. I made 3 lifelong friends from the multiple birth association network and I wouldn’t be back at work and as strong as I am without these amazing women (Leanne has a boy and girl born on valentines day, Hayle has identical boys born the day after the girls and Nicole has fraternal boys so between us we basically have every combination of twins there!) The multiple birth association is one place where I have always felt there is no judgement just acceptance and genuine people.
Q11. Did you use Lyn’s Label products when the girls were little, can you remember what you liked about them?
Do you use any of them now the girls are bigger? I have used Lyn’s Label products since the girls were 6 months old. The products are so versatile and good quality that they never wear out. The chenille change mats have been fantastic for when the girls were little and used to just lie around they were so soft the girls loved rolling around on them. I don’t have a large space at home, so after a bath I would have them on the floor in the bathroom with their towel ready so they were comfortable as I was changing them. Fast forward 2 years and they are still being used but uses are more dominated by the girls than myself. As soft props for their heads in my bed as they watch frozen before bed time or out in the yard on the weekends for a soft cushion on their rug for a nice tea party with petite sandwiches. The baby bag is an absolute delight. It is a one stop shop. I constantly have it packed with nappies, wipes, sunscreen, water bottles, snacks and spare clothes and add in my wallet, phone etc. but it is never full or heavy (and I’m carrying around enough for 2). When we are out I can unzip the sides to use as a change mat for the girls. The pockets are perfect just for my phones so they are easily accessible and my keys clip onto the Lyn’s Label keychain. I am considering a second bag to be a permanent swimming/beach bag because I like to have everything prepared in advance it would be great to have dedicated bags for each. I can’t go past how easy it is to clean and because it doesn’t have a million pockets I only carry the essentials. I love how stylish the baby bag is and always receive compliments on it when I am out.
Such as inspirational lady and family! We loved interviewing Hayley and wish her and her family the very best – you will always be special to us. Lots of hugs, Lyn and Marnie xx
Loved reading this article from my sister-in-law and about my brother! They are great parents and the twins are very lucky!
Lovely story. What a blessing to have such a gorgeous family. Well done mum and dad for the hard work you have put in over the years. It was inspiring to hear how Hayley makes time to care for herself in order to be the best mum she can for her twins. Something a lot of us mums aren’t always good at.