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Have you ever been given the advice – “to be a good mother you need to be kind to yourself, take some time out, give yourself some ‘me time”?  All too often it is the ‘me time’ that is sacrificed when our days become busy with nappy changes, feeds, sleeps, tummy time, swimming lessons, play groups and well, you know what I mean. Keeping your identity now you’re a Mum is difficult.

As a mother of six year old Charlotte I know all too well the challenge of balancing the role of great Mum whilst keeping my identity as an individual – a challenge common to a lot of mothers.

In my earlier blog I touched on the fact that I was profiling mothers, each very different in their approach to parenting but each one wonderful, empowering and inspiring in their own right.

I’d like to introduce to you one of our amazing Mums and loyal customer – Natalie.  Natalie is a stay-at-home Mum who recently gave birth to her first child, Ari. Natalie and her husband Ryan own a building development company and as you will soon learn, prior to the birth of Ari together they established an understanding that they “still wanted to maintain (their) own lives away from the baby both as a couple and as individuals”.  My hat goes off to this couple for managing to have such a balanced view of parenting and for keeping their identities while still being great parents.

I hope you enjoy this interview as much as we have…

1. Tell us about your family?  What age is Ari?

I am a first time Mother.  My husband Ryan and I have been married for 3 1/2 years (together for 10 years) and our little son Ari is only 16 weeks!

2. What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?

The first thing I do in the morning is make breakfast for myself and my husband.  Ryan wakes Ari up about half an hour before feed time so that they can have some one on one time together.  I like to stay out of the way because I feel that it is really important for them to have alone bonding time together each day.

The last thing I do at night is cuddle on the couch with Ryan and relax!  I like to stay busy all day and this is the only time where I really switch off.

3. What does being a Mum mean to you?

It sounds cheesy but having children to me is the meaning of life.  I don’t take the responsibility of being Ari’s Mother lightly and feel that it is the most important job in the world.  My actions and how Ryan and I choose to raise him will directly impact him for the rest of his life.  I plan to do the best job that I possibly can.

4. What is the best thing about being Mum so far?

The smiles and the giggles.  I love spending my day making him happy!  He is such a little chatterbox.

5. So many new Mums feel they lose their identity and are all consumed with being a Mum. Since the birth of Ari you seem to have managed to maintain some of your pre-mummy life while still being a great Mum?  How are you keeping your identity now you are a Mum – in between feeds, nappy changes and cuddles?

Before Ari came along Ryan and I established an understanding that we still wanted to maintain our own lives away from the baby both as a couple and as individuals.  We have a great support group of Grandparents around us so from just 10 days old we started we leave him with them for short periods of time.  This has helped him to become very adaptable and helped me to learn that Ari doesn’t have to be solely reliant on me.  When Ari is with his Grandparents we make sure we really use the spare time we have whether it be to go on a date, attend a wedding or sometimes unfortunately catch up on work!  I have also been aware that I didn’t want to be carrying him around all day (and not just because he is a big boy!) so from the beginning I have given him alone time on his play matt each day whilst I get chores and jobs done and because Ari has a solid routine I am able to use his nap times to catch up as well!  Ari and I have a great weekly schedule now which involves him seeing both of his sets of grandparents, two hours at crèche whilst I go to the gym, Mother’s group, swimming lessons and more!  So far he is a really content baby living a very full life!

6. What kind of adventures (as a Mum and/or on your own) have you been on since becoming a Mum?

The most exciting adventure that Ryan, Ari and I have had so far was a Snowboarding trip to New Zealand when he was 9 weeks old.  We were lucky enough that my parents came along to mind the baby whilst Ryan and I got some time in together on the slopes.  Ari takes a bottle of expressed milk so I was able to miss one feed a day, then Mum and Dad would bring him up to the ski resort for subsequent feeds.  He ended up visiting all 4 different Ski Mountains around Queenstown!  It was so amazing to have Ari there with us and I will never forget the moment when it started snowing and soft little snow flakes fell around his beautiful little face… the moment was priceless.

7. What advice/tips would you give new Mums about keeping your identity while trying to balance the role of mother, wife, daughter and friend?

Don’t feel bad for not spending 100% of your time with your baby.  Life is all about balance and every member of the family needs to be happy for the whole unit to function successfully.  If you are a happy and content Mother, because you are getting your own time too, then this will reflect onto your baby and only promote a healthy outlook to them as they grow.

8. What are your favourite baby products (they don’t have to be Lyn’s Label products)?  What do you like most about your Lyn’s Label products?

My favourite and most well used baby products would have to be my Lyn’s Label Maya Portable Chenille Change Mat, my Sangenic nappy bin and also my breast feeding pillow.  My absolute favourite though would be my Lyn’s Label Bella Baby Nappy Bag.  It fits everything in it that I need for Ari whilst being practical and looks good too!  I find the hidden pockets handy for things like dummies which need to be grabbed quickly at times!  Being that it is so easy to convert into a change table cover I find it super for quick nappy changes when we are rushing around.

9. Anything else you would like to add? 

Trust the people you feel comfortable with to look after your baby and except help when it is offered.